Love is All You Need… Or is It? (Writing 101, Day 3)

I have never been in love.

Some days, this fact about myself makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. In a consumer society where the movies we watch and books we read tell us the most desirable thing a woman can strive for is romance, not having it sometimes makes me feel weak. Open. Insecure.

Singleness is often portrayed as a dreadful thing that women need to get rid of. I love romantic comedies, but how many center on women who are dissatisfied with their relationship status? To be single is to be a failure. If you’re not in a relationship, you’re not desirable enough. You’re not beautiful enough. You’re not smart enough. You are not enough.

What a bunch of crap.

Most days, romantic inexperience doesn’t bother me much. I’ve never felt the desire to date for the sake of dating. When I enter a relationship someday, I want it to be something that lasts. I don’t want to be with someone for the sake of not being alone. I want to be with someone because they fascinate and inspire me.  I want to be with someone who loves me for who I am. In reality, I’ve never actually met anyone I seriously wanted to date. Oh I’ve had crushes.  Lots of them.  But only one person has ever seriously caught my eye and that didn’t even start to go anywhere. That, however, is a story for another day.

When it comes down to it, I love being single. I love making life decisions without needing someone else’s input, worrying about distance, or providing for children. For me, there is a whole world of possibilities. I could move anywhere, do any job, and pursue whatever adventures come my way. Singleness is a unique time in life and I don’t want to spend it moping around.

I do hope to find love eventually, but why detract from the joys of life by buying into lies that I need a man to make me happy? Everyone says it comes when you least expect it. I figure that if I live without expectations of romance, I can enjoy all the wonderful things in my life now. When love comes, it will take me by surprise and will be so much more exciting.

My philosophy on love and dating may not resonate with everyone. Most of my views stream from my deeply rooted faith and security in God. But to go into all the spiritual aspects of my reasoning would be crossing into waters I tend to avoid in the blogosphere. (Maybe I’ll write about why I don’t talk about my faith much someday. I’ll add that to the list of post ideas.) Anyway, if my words don’t fit your perspective or worldview, that is okay. We’re all different. As the phrase goes, “You do you.”

The truth is, though, culture is wrong. You don’t need romance, dates, or sex to live a fulfilling life.

Falling in love? Maybe someday. Until then, I am enough.

This post is inspired by an assignment for the Blogging University class Writing 101: Finding Everyday Inspiration.

7 thoughts on “Love is All You Need… Or is It? (Writing 101, Day 3)

  1. livingtruth77 September 9, 2015 / 5:30 pm

    I hit the like button, but I LOVE this post! It’s so encouraging. I’ve never been in a relationship either and am in my mid-twenties. This so resonates with me. I have never wanted to date for the sake of dating. When I get married I want it to be to the Godly man who is right for me. The message your sending here needs to be heard. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

    • Amelia September 9, 2015 / 7:12 pm

      Your comment totally made my day! It’s so humbling to know my post meant something to you. I’m glad you are encouraged by it! And you are not alone! There are moments when I feel like I’m the only one in this boat, but your comment proves that I’m not. There are more of us waiting than one things, even if we’re hard to find. 🙂

  2. Marquessa September 10, 2015 / 11:10 am

    Simply adored the essence of your post! Couldn’t agree with you more! Cheers!

    • Amelia September 10, 2015 / 12:00 pm

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you liked it!

  3. Crazy Colorful Turtle September 17, 2015 / 11:33 pm

    Thank you for putting into words what a lot of women, including myself, feel but cannot fully express. I am thrilled to have read this beautifully-written and empowering post. I love this post but I love this last line the most, “Falling in love? Maybe someday. Until then, I am enough.”

    • Amelia September 18, 2015 / 7:48 am

      You’re very welcome! I’m honored and humbled that my words meant so much to you. I think there are more girls in the world who feel this way, they’re just hard to find. It’s a message that culture so rarely gives, but needs to be said. This post had been stirring in my heart for a long time and I’m so thankful for a Writing 101 for prodding it out of me!

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