As far as weeks go, I think it’s safe to say that I’m having a terrible one. To begin with, my parents are currently away road tripping to Oregon, leaving me in a big empty house with no one but my brother (who isn’t exactly a chatterbox) and my cat to keep me company. Then, I made the mistake of wading into the wrong patch of woods on our farm, resulting in poison ivy rashes and blisters all over my legs. To cap it off, I got sick on Monday night and made a big mess of it, making cleanup gross and difficult. (Sorry if that’s too much information…)
By yesterday evening, I was tired of being in the house and decided to make a WalMart run for groceries and cleaning products. As I drove, I started to feel really down. I felt lonely and isolated. I felt frustrated about my job search (which is ridiculous because I have an interview tomorrow for what might be the perfect position career-wise). The purposelessness of not knowing where you’re going to be a month from now combined with the endless monotony of a boring summer job kind of imploded.
Then, I started thinking about the three months I spent in England this past spring and how absolutely happy I was, surrounded by a wonderful community of friends from around the world. Little things kept popping into my mind–watching the dawn from my second floor window, reading Dorothy Sayers in front of the Bake House fire, helping little Addy Bess learn to walk. It was so blissful to be so content, so loved, so comfortable in my own skin… and here I am, lonely and unhappy once more.
All these cheery thoughts had me near tears.
Then, I had a thought.
Even though I’m sick and my legs hurt so much I can barely sleep and even though I’m twenty three, practically unemployed, and still living with my parents… I’m DONE being all sad and mopey.
As I drove along, I said to myself, “It’s time to throw in the towel on the pity party. Instead, let’s have an Emergency Dance Party.” (If you’ve read Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl, you’ll know what I’m talking about.)
So I flipped on the radio, turned the volume up, and hit the dance floor. I was in luck–a catchy Justin Timberlake song that I actually knew the words to had just begun. Mind you, I’m not very good at dancing. In fact, I’d go as far as saying I’m terrible at it. I probably looked like a total weirdo to passers by, bouncing and jiving behind the wheel of my minivan, but didn’t care. It was FUN! I flipped the light switch on my sadness and had an absolute blast.
There’s definitely a time and place for sadness, uncertainty, and even a time to embrace loneliness. But, sometimes, it’s important to turn off the negativity and just dance.